Reply to Out of town in laws attendance at birthdays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You see them often enough that the drive is clearly not a big deal for them.  I really don't get why you didn't invite them.  It causes no extra work for you.  You don't need to figure out if it works with your schedule.  You don't need to figure out transportation.  If they normally stay with you, you could have had DH book a hotel, which takes all of 5 minutes.  This seems like a major oversight on your part and I'm really surprised you need so many people to point this out for you.  [/quote]

Why is it an oversight on her part and not the husband? Where is the husband in all of this? It is his family. Also, I bet if you book a hotel for them, then they’re going to be offended by that so you can’t win. Let your husband deal with his family as anything you do is going to be critiqued and judged. I would ignore her complaints if I was you. Who has time for that?
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I can guarantee OP was the hostess who planned the party and issued the invites. In that case it would be on her to extend an invite to the ILs as well. It's always nice to just be invited, even if it doesn't even make sense for the to come. Issue the invite, they say no, and everyone's happy. [/quote]

This isn’t preventing the husband from extending an invite [/quote]

Of course it is. Did they both sit there and add addresses to the evite one by one taking turns? Did he invite his friends and she invited hers? The person putting in all the recipient information does all of it. It's not a 2 person job.[/quote]

And he’s not doing any of it. His parents raised a spoiled man who doesn’t help with party planning. The daughter in law has to deal with her adult child. She doesn’t need them staying at her house too.[/quote]

Ah the parents spoiled him but OP married him so she saw something good enough. Or she was desperate.[/quote]

Or she married him but not her mother-in-law.[/quote]

She married into his family. That's what a marriage is. But being petty and refusing to invite one set of guests is weird. OP is likely trolling to rile up the usual MIL haters.[/quote]

No, she married a person. That’s why the marriage contract is between two people.[/quote]

Then why does she see her in-laws at all?[/quote]

That’s up to her.

If I were the MIL I would not test her boundaries with guilt or fighting. I would talk to my son.[/quote]

If she had simply been invited to the family party it wouldn't come to that. See how this made things worse?[/quote]

Or she can just stop inviting period, which leaves her even better.[/quote]

Well at least you admit it was her job in the first place. OP is trying to blame her daughter for all of this using words like "at her request" and because "She really wanted her cousins" there as if the parents played no role in this whatsoever. And then they talked about the party in front of the in-laws they didn't invite. Rude awful people. [/quote]

She can stop inviting, and it will no longer be her problem, because the son won’t take the initiative.

MIL has relationship problems. Her DIL puts up with her and her son would never see her again if the DIL stopped.[/quote]

No, it's still a problem because she runs her big mouth and made a point of telling people she didn't invite about the party they weren't invited to. Whatever did OP do the last 6 years of birthday? Maybe one of her ardent defenders can speak to that as well since OP is MIA.[/quote]

If she stops seeing them it won’t be an issue will it?[/quote]

Are you slow? Do you think in person communication is the only way communication works?[/quote]

She doesn’t have to communicate in any way whatsoever. For example, when I close this tab it won’t matter what you think or do. You won’t get any communication from me, and I won’t hear you.[/quote]

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