Reply to What do you think you did right to have a close relationship with your adult child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think being non judgemental and non reactionary are the most important, as well as respecting who your kid is, even if they are different from you.  My mom did the opposite of all those, and as a result, we've never been close. [/quote]

+1 I still spend a lot of time with my parents as they are local and very helpful involved grandparents. But we are not "close" in terms of my sharing and being vulnerable. They have always been focused on achievement and external appearances and anytime I share some doubts or weakness, it's turned against me like it's my own fault for feeling that way or I'm not grateful enough for things or I'm creating problems for other people or I'm selfish. I'm talking about basic stuff like saying that being a parent is hard/busy, or that something sucks about my job, etc.

They are also not open to my own feedback about their own behavior including asking them to keep some of their judgment and feedback about my parenting to themselves.

I think we all walk on eggshells a bit now and it's unfortunate but to me keeping a lot to myself and only sharing good stuff is emotional self protection.[/quote]

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