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[quote=Anonymous]None.

My kids didn't have to pay a dime. This was made very clear for them from the time they were little. We gave birth to them and so to educate them was our responsibility. In fact, in my own culture, the parental responsibility stops only after kids are educated and financially independent as well as married and ready to take on the responsibility of adult life. 
We are DMV MC (so middle America UMC) and we have saved for our two kids by making some economic choices.

- We would pay for their college, and grad school/professional school.  
- We would pay all costs including travel and socializing.  
- We would pay for their first car.  It could be new, it could be second hand. 
- Pay seed money for investments up to $30K when they started college.  
- We would pay to set them up in their first apartment (furniture and household needs, 2 month rent etc) if they got a job OOS or far from us.  
- They could stay for free with us (no rent, no utilities, no food cost) if they wanted to.  This is true for the rest of their lives. 
- We would pay for their entire wedding.

We came to this country with $115 in hand, and two suitcases.  We did not get a financial break for  6 years.  I am in no way not giving financial leg-up to my kids.

Do they have stakes in their future?  YES.

- They were asked to double major in whateverthehell subject they wanted + CS/Engineering 
   They needed to have a major that was marketable.  But the second major was to feed their soul. Both kids chose one STEM and one humanities subject.

- They went to state flagship instead of private colleges
   But private colleges were also doable if it was one of the top best college for the major.

- They did not have to do chores at home.  
  But they needed to know how to - cycle, swim, drive stick shift, cook from scratch, do laundry, clean the house, maintain the car, budget, iron their clothes, shine their shoes, do regular home-maintenance, exercise every day.

- They did not have to get summer jobs
  But they needed to do volunteer work, internships, research assistantships, summer classes.

- They did not have to have any student debt. 
   But if they got merit scholarships, their 529 was theirs to convert to Roth.

- They could get unpaid internships in college
   But they needed to get internships or research opportunities each year.  If the internship paid money, they had to invest in their Roth and investment accounts.

- They could socialize, throw parties, eat out, travel in US or abroad - on our dime.
   But they could not get off rails.  No way could they jeopardize their safety, mental/physical/emotional health, their finances, their academic standing, their personal and professional reputation or their moral character & values.   We gave them a lot of privileges but they retained it by walking on the straight and narrow.  Cause, mother did not raise idiots.

And now, my youngest has graduated and has a good job and will be truly leaving the nest.

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