Anonymous
Post 06/03/2026 09:29     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

We will pay for college costs, travel to and from school, and necessities. DD will use her own funds for food and discretionary spending. This money comes from her summer job.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2026 09:11     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

Anonymous wrote:We're financially equipped to pay for all expenses but want our kid to have a little skin in the game for college, like allocating some portion of her summer earnings to contribute to college expenses. Anyone have an approach they like? Set a lump sum amount? DC pays for books or monthly allowance at college out of summer earnings? She is also planning to get an on-campus job at school. TIA


You pay for tutition, housing, books and transportation to/from home, they pay for food, drink, any trips over breaks and other "stuff"
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2026 07:33     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

DS pays $1500/year towards tuition (just to have some skin in the game) + gives himself an allowance of $200/month for fun- both paid out of his summer work money.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2026 07:30     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

None, but I expected them to finish in 4 years and do well. One was on notice that if GPA was below a certain target, community college was on the horizon. All did well and successfully launched. I expected skin in the game contributions for grad and professional schools.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 23:32     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

Anonymous wrote:We're financially equipped to pay for all expenses but want our kid to have a little skin in the game for college, like allocating some portion of her summer earnings to contribute to college expenses. Anyone have an approach they like? Set a lump sum amount? DC pays for books or monthly allowance at college out of summer earnings? She is also planning to get an on-campus job at school. TIA


We don’t expect DC to pay for anything. However, she likes having some autonomy so has her own credit card for discretionary spend (e.g. non-dining hall food) and pays the bill with money she makes from summer internships and contract work throughout the school year (she’s a CS major). She contributes the max to her Roth IRA.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 22:57     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

We pay room, board, tuition, cellphone, and car insurance. DD pays for everything else: books, clothes, spending, gas, trips with friends, etc. She works during the summers. No unpaid internships unless her college gives her a scholarship.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 22:51     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

Anonymous wrote:We only paid tuition and R/b. Kid covered all extras from high school earned income. Then got a job when they wanted to travel with friends.


Oops I forgot college internships.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 22:50     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

We only paid tuition and R/b. Kid covered all extras from high school earned income. Then got a job when they wanted to travel with friends.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 22:21     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

Anonymous wrote:We're financially equipped to pay for all expenses but want our kid to have a little skin in the game for college, like allocating some portion of her summer earnings to contribute to college expenses. Anyone have an approach they like? Set a lump sum amount? DC pays for books or monthly allowance at college out of summer earnings? She is also planning to get an on-campus job at school. TIA


My kids don't pay for anything.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 21:54     Subject: Re:For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

None.

My kids didn't have to pay a dime. This was made very clear for them from the time they were little. We gave birth to them and so to educate them was our responsibility. In fact, in my own culture, the parental responsibility stops only after kids are educated and financially independent as well as married and ready to take on the responsibility of adult life.
We are DMV MC (so middle America UMC) and we have saved for our two kids by making some economic choices.

- We would pay for their college, and grad school/professional school.
- We would pay all costs including travel and socializing.
- We would pay for their first car. It could be new, it could be second hand.
- Pay seed money for investments up to $30K when they started college.
- We would pay to set them up in their first apartment (furniture and household needs, 2 month rent etc) if they got a job OOS or far from us.
- They could stay for free with us (no rent, no utilities, no food cost) if they wanted to. This is true for the rest of their lives.
- We would pay for their entire wedding.

We came to this country with $115 in hand, and two suitcases. We did not get a financial break for 6 years. I am in no way not giving financial leg-up to my kids.

Do they have stakes in their future? YES.

- They were asked to double major in whateverthehell subject they wanted + CS/Engineering
They needed to have a major that was marketable. But the second major was to feed their soul. Both kids chose one STEM and one humanities subject.

- They went to state flagship instead of private colleges
But private colleges were also doable if it was one of the top best college for the major.

- They did not have to do chores at home.
But they needed to know how to - cycle, swim, drive stick shift, cook from scratch, do laundry, clean the house, maintain the car, budget, iron their clothes, shine their shoes, do regular home-maintenance, exercise every day.

- They did not have to get summer jobs
But they needed to do volunteer work, internships, research assistantships, summer classes.

- They did not have to have any student debt.
But if they got merit scholarships, their 529 was theirs to convert to Roth.

- They could get unpaid internships in college
But they needed to get internships or research opportunities each year. If the internship paid money, they had to invest in their Roth and investment accounts.

- They could socialize, throw parties, eat out, travel in US or abroad - on our dime.
But they could not get off rails. No way could they jeopardize their safety, mental/physical/emotional health, their finances, their academic standing, their personal and professional reputation or their moral character & values. We gave them a lot of privileges but they retained it by walking on the straight and narrow. Cause, mother did not raise idiots.

And now, my youngest has graduated and has a good job and will be truly leaving the nest.



Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 21:19     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

Anonymous wrote:We're financially equipped to pay for all expenses but want our kid to have a little skin in the game for college, like allocating some portion of her summer earnings to contribute to college expenses. Anyone have an approach they like? Set a lump sum amount? DC pays for books or monthly allowance at college out of summer earnings? She is also planning to get an on-campus job at school. TIA


Hey, he did not get the pleasure of sex in his own conception. He does not need to have skin in the game.
TMYAWWTMYAW.

Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 21:08     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

Anonymous wrote:We pay school expenses. They pay for all extras and fun. Going abroad this fall and we may have to pitch in a little more for the fun as the summer job and internship may not yield enough $.



I paid for everything, including fun and expenses.

I was poor when young. Abandoned by my father who thought I was a worthless loser, my mother was an addict. On my own on athletic scholarship since age 18.

I promised my.kids they could go anywhere they wanted. My life goal was to break the cycle.

I did not expect to pay for Princeton, but really it was a privilege. No debt anywhere - cycle broken. No debt anywhere. I suspect that I should have had them put in a little skin in the game, but they are great kids. From a scared kid at 18, it was my important life goal.

To be blunt, they are talented and I had little to do with that.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 20:49     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

Anonymous wrote:We're financially equipped to pay for all expenses but want our kid to have a little skin in the game for college, like allocating some portion of her summer earnings to contribute to college expenses. Anyone have an approach they like? Set a lump sum amount? DC pays for books or monthly allowance at college out of summer earnings? She is also planning to get an on-campus job at school. TIA


Fully fund their own ROTH IRA max contribution and take out the $5500 federally subsidized loan.

I pay everything else.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 20:00     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

We pay school expenses. They pay for all extras and fun. Going abroad this fall and we may have to pitch in a little more for the fun as the summer job and internship may not yield enough $.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2026 19:57     Subject: For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will fully pay for all three of my kids and ask them to contribute nothing. This is what my parents did for me - and they weren't rich (I am). I clearly remember being filled with gratitude all through college as I watched friends do work study programs and take loans - I did not take it for granted at all that I did not have to contend with those things thanks to my parents' commitment to pay for everything for me.

I respect people who want their kids to have skin in the game and who require them to contribute to the cost of their education. For me personally, I feel it's my responsibility to cover all costs for my kids because a) I can easily afford it, b) they're good kids and c) I want them to have a head start in life.


+1

Same!

We pay for everything. Kids have summer jobs and they put those into Roth IRAs.

But you do NOT have to have "skin in the game" to be grateful and successful. Our kids see their friends who have to struggle to pay for things and upon graduation, spend the next 10+ years paying the loans, while my kid has no debt. They greatly appreciate the fact that college was paid for and they were able to start saving for retirement early.


+2 same my parents paid for college as long as it was in-state (or would give me the equivalent towards private and I’d have to pay the rest). It’s what they could afford for all 3 of us with no loans for us. We always had summer jobs. My dad explained loans and finances and why it would be wise not to have any loans w/ interest rates, etc. I am forever grateful for that and paying for my wedding too.

I pay in full for both kids’ private colleges. They also have Roth IRAs where most of the $ they earn in summer jobs goes. They also use some of it for their own spending. They have had summer jobs since 10th grade and were mowing lawns for $ since middle school. This summer the oldest has a funded research gig abroad. He won’t be getting a salary, but all of his costs are covered by it. So not “working” this summer.


Those are rare and a huge boost to the resume congrats!