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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The early years are just hard. We lived in the same metro area as our parents and had a nanny rather than daycare. Both made it easier than it would have been otherwise. When the kids were 5 and 2 we moved to be within walking distance on my parents. It’s been nice.  There have been seasons when we didn’t need hired childcare because of living so close and our kids have a deeper relationship with grandparents rather than a babysitter who they don’t keep in touch with. As an example, when my younger kid was in upper ES my mom would come by and spend 30-45 min with kid most mornings after I had to leave and before the ES bus came. It wasn’t burdensome for my mom and kid appreciated company but didn’t need much care. Now my parents drive my kid to activities 2 days/week after school. We never had them do full-time preschool or baby care, but it’s still made a huge difference to our family to be close by. It’s a much more enjoyable way to live IMO[/quote]

I agree this sounds great but it requires several circumstances:

- Your parents are healthy and interested in participating (not struggling with health issues or determined to spend their retirement travelling or socializing instead of helping you)
- You could afford a nanny when kids were younger
- Your parents live somewhere that has job opportunities for you and your spouse and where school options are at least minimally acceptable
- You could afford a home within walking distance of your parents (and your parents live in a neighborhood walkable enough to facilitate walking between houses).

Like, yes, your set up sounds great but the number of young families who can do that is actually very small. [/quote]

Agreed. But OP was asking if it’s inherently awful or if there are ways to make it manageable or even enjoyable in this country/area. Examples of what that looks like might be helpful. Doesn’t mean everyone can do it that way.

Also, there are lots of benefits to having children later in life, but active, engaged, helpful grandparents is more likely to be possible with shorter generational intervals. My brother’s kids are about 7 years younger than mine, and my parents have been less able to help them. Bro and SIL also value staying in the city, so while my parents are close enough to babysit for a date night, they’re not really close enough to pop by every morning for 30 min. My mom was 58 when my oldest was born. As my parents have become less able caregivers my kids have gotten older and need less intensive care. Even 5 years later would have been a different experience, as I’ve seen first hand with my bro and his kids. [/quote]

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