Reply to Can DH request a circumcision while I'm recovering from childbirth?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. If you actually think your DH would even consider going behind your back on this, then no your marriage is not anywhere near healthy. The tone you have taken with him about this may well have something to do with it, or it may just be the way your communication has evolved after years of dysfunction. I don't know you so I can't tell. But what you have said makes me gravely concerned for your marriage. Deny it if it makes you feel better, but maybe these comments will cause you to think twice and get some counseling. Your future baby will thank you -- circumcised or not![/quote]

Puh-lease!  :lol:

You guys are so freaking funny!

Do you guys agree about everything all the time?

As I said, for DH this is not a medical procedure, it's "no biggie" like he says. He just doesn't want the kid to be mocked in school. And we don't even know if it's a boy yet.

I believe this is serious business that's why I came to ask about the legal aspect of it.

I wonder if you all are this judgmental about others in real life or just here because you can hide behind anonymity. [/quote]

No, my DH and I don't agree all the time.  But I would never, ever, even for one second, worry that he would take action behind my back on something he knew I vehemently disagreed with.  Even if he thought it was "no biggie," it would be enough for him to know that I thought it was important.  Then again, I would also respect his opinion and not speak to him in inflammatory exaggerated language about something that is clearly important to him as well, or force him to watch youtube videos to prove my point.  If you really think your DH might run out and circumcise your baby at any second, I don't see how you are ever going to leave him alone with the baby.  In a healthy marriage you communicate respectfully and come up with solutions TOGETHER.  You don't run around behind each others' backs to see who can "win" when it comes to parenting decisions.  I can promise you that this approach will fail you.

Good luck and I hope you take some of this feedback constructively.  I'm not going to say I'm telling you this because I care so much about you and your marriage -- I don't.  But I have no dog in this fight either way, and frankly I have mixed feelings about circumcision.  But sometimes it takes an outsider to make you realize how you sound, and to me it is very strikingly obvious that your fears about your DH and the way you speak to/about him are not consistent with a strong, healthy marriage.  It's not about the circumcision issue.  Circumcision is just one of a lifetime of decisions you will be making together, and if you try to make them the same way you are trying to make this one, it will not end well for anyone.    [/quote]

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