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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey.  The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play.  You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.[/quote]

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey.  Believe me, I tried.  Doesn't always work out.  I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.[/quote]

This really doesn’t make any sense to me.  My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it.  They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.
[/quote]

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder![/quote]

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.[/quote]

Many parents don't know what to do with their kids' feelings. Their kid feels sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed, so the parent feels sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed. Those are hard feelings, so the parent looks to make them go away by "solving" whatever problem they perceive to be causing the feelings, i.e. giving the child what they are demanding.

This is dysfunctional. It's not as bad as a parent who responds to that dynamic with physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, but it's still dysfunctional.

Parents have to learn not to take their kids emotions on as their own. They need to learn to look at their kids somewhat objectively (you can never be completely objective about your own kid, and you always have to have empathy so that you can be kind) to give the kids what they need, even if it means a child is unhappy in the short term.

This requires a lot of emotional maturity, to understand your own feelings and how to handle them, and to know how to keep your feelings separate from your child's feelings.[/quote]

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