Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

You're a sanctimonious prick. TBH.

Anonymous wrote:I am a gymnastics parent with Arlington. The proposed fee increases will raise rates significantly with some parents paying nearly 12k a year (not including meet fees, uniforms, hotels, plane tickets etc). So easily another 5k in some cases (current rate is over 8k a year)

But it got me thinking what do folks pay for other competitive sports. I know individual.sports tend to be pricy (competitive rock climbing and archery are close to $500 a month/6k a year).

But what are folks paying for team sports. Just wondering what folks really pay out there. Do people regularly pay 10k plus for just the sport (so not including equipment, uniforms, travel)?

Easily we paid this. But, it was my child's choice (we never thought we would be or wanted to be travel sports parents). She loved the sport. Between equipment, club fees, uniforms, traveling (gas, hotels), individual competitive events for recruitment, etc. we easily spend $10k/year. But a) we had the money. b) it kept her fit and doing something she loved and kept her out of trouble. and c) she had half a dozen offers to play in college and picked one that allowed her to play, excel, and grad debt free.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

My parents said “no” to pretty much every extracurricular that cost more than $100. They were LMC and chose to pursue material goods over developing our interests.

I love them, but man it was frustrating knowing I had natural talents and interests that were only being developed at the lowest levels the public schools could provide in a group setting. It just got worse as I went through college. I bootstrapped as best as I could, but there were limits to what a regular person could reach themselves before YouTube and I hit them.

Part of the great privilege of having more money now is choosing to develop my kids. We’re not going crazy like some of you all, but I’m also not saying no. I don’t need a fancy house or a fancy car, but I do need my kids to have satisfying and well developed lives.

I grew up like you and I too am happy to not have to say "no" to my kids because we can't afford it.

That does NOT mean I don't say "no" for other reasons, including that I don't think a certain activity expense is good value for the money. With regards to travel sports, my concerns tend to be more about time and balance (I think except for certain kids with true passion, talent, and dedication, many travel sports are too time intensive to justify the opportunity cost). I also think a lot of travel leagues are basically a financial scam.

I spend tons of money on my kids' activities, including instrument lessons, dance, a wide variety of camps and clubs, equipment and materials, etc. It's not a money thing. But just because we can afford a certain activity doesn't mean it's a worthwhile way to spend our time and money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

Many parents don't know what to do with their kids' feelings. Their kid feels sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed, so the parent feels sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed. Those are hard feelings, so the parent looks to make them go away by "solving" whatever problem they perceive to be causing the feelings, i.e. giving the child what they are demanding.

This is dysfunctional. It's not as bad as a parent who responds to that dynamic with physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, but it's still dysfunctional.

Parents have to learn not to take their kids emotions on as their own. They need to learn to look at their kids somewhat objectively (you can never be completely objective about your own kid, and you always have to have empathy so that you can be kind) to give the kids what they need, even if it means a child is unhappy in the short term.

This requires a lot of emotional maturity, to understand your own feelings and how to handle them, and to know how to keep your feelings separate from your child's feelings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

My parents said “no” to pretty much every extracurricular that cost more than $100. They were LMC and chose to pursue material goods over developing our interests.

I love them, but man it was frustrating knowing I had natural talents and interests that were only being developed at the lowest levels the public schools could provide in a group setting. It just got worse as I went through college. I bootstrapped as best as I could, but there were limits to what a regular person could reach themselves before YouTube and I hit them.

Part of the great privilege of having more money now is choosing to develop my kids. We’re not going crazy like some of you all, but I’m also not saying no. I don’t need a fancy house or a fancy car, but I do need my kids to have satisfying and well developed lives.

We are in ECNL. Our club fee is $4K, the team fee is $1K, and we spend about $5K on private training, clinics, and camps throughout the year, plus another $5K on travel, hotels, and flights. In total, we spend around $15K per year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.

how do you have $2k in equipment per year!? what is a "team fee" ? what is the $1k mentor, is this not private training? $19k for U12 with traveling and extra private training seems close-ish, but some of the fees you mention are weird.

They're just be reckless with the spending. I was a pp who stated U13 Girls ECNL (Top team and one of the top ~25 in the nation this year). No "team fee", no PAID private training (or physical therapy/mentor), and then only 2 out of town tournaments which I guess could be about $2k total being generous. We're lucky to be in the North Atlantic so all league games are between MD & NJ with minimal or no hotel stays for league games. 7k for sleep away camp might as well be a completely separate expense.

Anonymous wrote:Not a sport but piano lessons for 30 mins a week is $2900/yr. lol. X 2 kids so $5800. Everything is so expensive.

Yes, our piano is $6200 a year - at least there’s no travel … yet

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

Anonymous wrote:Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.

how do you have $2k in equipment per year!? what is a "team fee" ? what is the $1k mentor, is this not private training? $19k for U12 with traveling and extra private training seems close-ish, but some of the fees you mention are weird.

Anonymous wrote:Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.

You are nuts.
My U14 DD soccer is around $1,500-$2,000 a year. 2 night residential camp just over $500 extra this year that we didn’t do last year.
Being in ECNL just isn’t worth it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do travel hockey, and it cost about $14,000 last year. This included fees and travel to in-season tournaments. We also do things on the cheap side, so will drive for anything under 8 hours, there are many families that choose to fly more frequently, so could certainly be several $K more if you choose to do that. In addition, this does not include anything extracurricular like occasional clinics/skills sessions, HS hockey, spring/summer tournaments/camps

Is his AAA or AA? My son plays AA. I'm guessing our bill is about the same.

Included in my original statement was summer camps - he did 2 weeks at a sleepaway hockey camp, plus I had to fly him and his friend there but another parent brought them home. Private/small groups were about $5k that year. I did a spreadsheet that year and tracked everything and hockey was $30k that year. I shared it with a couple close mom friends on the team and they thought it tracked their estimates. We could afford it but actually tracking costs, missed school days, missed work days and other things we missed for hockey helped us realize it was time to pull back.

Your kid quit?

No. He cut back to prioritize school and play a second sport in high school. He couldn’t keep up with school as he got older with that much hockey travel (in fairness, some of it was spring teams). The year before I tracked everything, our friend’s older kid quit hockey after his first year of D3 - they scratched him quite a bit, after he deferred college for 2 years to play juniors, after he moved away from home as a teen to billet.

Heartland and Shattuck were both positive experiences for him but I don’t think he slept much at either.

Anonymous wrote:Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.

You are insane

Not a sport but piano lessons for 30 mins a week is $2900/yr. lol. X 2 kids so $5800. Everything is so expensive.

Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.