Reply to Is co parenting a woke male trap?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is co parenting a woke male trap?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Seems a common theme is wives leaving because they just can’t tolerate having a child for a husband. Weaponzied incompetence, performative parenting, etc. but then, once divorced, you are supposed to continue doing all the organizing and invisible labor, or else you aren’t a cooperative co parent and  “the kids will suffer”. We divorce them when they don’t pull their weight in marriage but then tolerate it once divorced. [/quote]

NP here. Divorce does not make it better. No, he does not pay me alimony or child support. 50/50 is BS.[/quote]

Another NP in the middle of it. From the day I knew I was pregnant I realized I was in a bad place, but told myself to just hang in and maybe it would get better. It didn’t. So then it became just stay in until DC can talk, stay until DC can take transit, stay until DC is 18. I knew that as bad as my life was it would be worse doing all the same stuff but outside the financial and legal protections of a marriage.

I was right. DH filed and is now very happy to have a legal system that he can use to tell me what to do and to stand behind him as he does something below the bare minimum. There are armies of apologists for men ready to work for $500/hour to focus on “future potential as a parent” and making moms do it all under the guise of “cooperation”.

I’m rambling, but yes, coparenting is even more of a scam than marriage was, for me, at least. It’s a weaponization of the legal system to protect lazy men’s egos at the cost of children and families.[/quote]

Yikes.
So you have teens now and need to coparent with this high conflict narcissist? 
Can the kid say I want to be at XYZ house 100% of the time or is their alluring money, perks, no house rules at one place? [/quote]

Younger than driving age, old enough to have phones.

Right now they are with me 100% by their choice and because he didn’t have a house for a while as we await a court-ordered parenting plan because he was angry that they were refusing to see him ordered a custody evaluation to prove that they want to be with him. I (literally) push them out the door when he comes to pick them up to see him. His house is definitely not alluring. It’s sort of a last minute corporate rental or maybe an Airbnb or something and it sounds like there’s nothing for them to do there, so they wear headphones and take homework and wait for the time to be over. He tries to make them play board games or watch his favorite sport, neither of which are things they have ever enjoyed. He often misses time with them to go on fun personal trips or is late coming back from international travel for work.

I don’t actually understand how he would be able to parent if he’s awarded partial custody but none of the third party professionals seem concerned. Some of them have questioned why I’m not working harder to accommodate his “different abilities”, and one implied that I need to teach him how to cook or set up special activities for them to do or coach him through the kids’ schedules or whatever. I’m separated and not by choice- I hardly think I’m in a position to say “Larla’s soccer is on field x this week, so you’ll need to pick her up no later than 2:10 to account for traffic in order to get her there by 3:00 even though Google Maps says it’s only a 15 minute drive.”
But that’s not how some of these professionals see it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics