Reply to Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?

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Reply to "Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some posters need to stop telling people to accept unhappiness. Suck it up, it’s the right thing to do, anything for the boomers!

Just no. Continuing behavior that you dislike will only create resentment, avoidance, and further sour the relationship. Yes, yes we understand the boomers on this board do not care if others are miserable as long as they themselves are happy. These are not people to listen to or follow.

OP. You feel how you feel. It isn’t abnormal or normal, it simply is what you feel. Recognize it, accept and then decide what you are comfortable doing. This could be fewer visits to see if the weekly obligation is the issue. This might mean not doing visits but bringing your Dad along on other activities like the kids sports game, seeing a movie, or maybe he just hangs around your house while you get things done. See if there is common ground to build a casual friendship. Don’t look for love or joy, just start small.

Relationships can’t survive being built on obligation or guilt. [/quote]
What a selfish shallow take. How many hours did this dad spend doing things he disliked. Maybe he didn’t care for his job but it was good for his family. Maybe he hated Legos but built with them anyway because his son loved him. This AC is just entitled and gross. Visiting your local parent 1x a week is a very small act. You make it sound like he’s being asked to donate an organ.[/quote]

Stop it. Adults decide to have children. Most build Legos because they enjoy doing something with their children. Children are a choice not a sacrifice.

When the child grows up, it’s time to transition to an adult relationship. This means that there needs to be mutual benefit and value. There is nothing owed nor a free pass just because you were the parent. Spending several hours every week out of obligation rather than mutual connection is not healthy. [/quote]

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