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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

"[/quote]My xH cheated multiple times despite me wanting sex with him regularly. In fact, I could barely get him to have sex with me - he'd do it once or twice a month to shut me up. He preferred sitting downstairs sexting other women on his phone.

[b]And no, I didn't get fat, didn't let myself go, none of that. The women he cheated with were all fatter, uglier, and older than me (caught him pursuing women as old as 70 when he was early 40s!). I could have been a Victoria's Secret model and slid down a stripper pole, and he wouldn't have been interested[/b].
[/quote]

That's on you x-wife, thinking all you have to do is look good.

I cheat on my wife.  She enjoys sex also and is willing to partake with me.  Of course she enjoys it, I do all the initiating, I give her oral until she O's and always an expression on my face and words that tell her how much I love doing it even though practically every time I get a pubic hair stuck in my throat, 100% of the time in her 'approved' positions, only during the mornings when she wants it, only on the days that she wants it, only in the location she wants it, only the sex acts she wants.

I on the other hand can't do my fav positions because it's 'uncomfortable' or 'hurts'.  Whereas I think the truth is she finds them too dominant.  She can't give me blowjobs because she has a 'small mouth' , but never once lovingly and sexily just licks it.  I tried to do a play night and sexily tried trimming her pubic hair, she broke down crying.  Can't do it at night because then she can't sleep, whereas I think she's just too lazy to go pee afterwards.  Can't do it in nature because we might be seen, even though we're the only ones around for 10 miles.  She thinks I'm a trained monkey and shouldn't tell her anymore what I need in our sex lives or she'll get hurt and cry.

So yeah, I F*** every woman I get a chance to. In my mind you kind of women have near zero rights to complain about your husbands stepping out.  I have to admit though, plenty of husbands must also be a sex downer or there wouldn't be all these married women for me to romance.  No matter the gender,[b] if you don't Love your spouse enough to do ANYTHING and with enthusiasm on your face for the one you supposedly love, then you're just a DUD[/b][/quote]

PP, do you recognize how rape-y what you said sounds?  Yes, in your mind, women have no right to decline any sexual request from their spouse.  Non-consensual sex is rape.  The fact that you aren't physically beating your wife to get sex doesn't mean that you are not raping her.  You are committing rape by fraud, because, "presumably" she believes that you and she have a monogamous marriage.  By cheating on her -- have sex with other women -- you are, through your lies and deception to keep her unaware of your infidelities (the fraud), denying her real, accurate knowledge that she is not in a monogamous marriage, and thus denying her the ability to make her own choice about whether to stay or leave the marriage.

PP's wife is not his sex slave who is bound to comply with all his sexual demands.  His wife says some sexual positions hurt, yet he chooses to believe she is lying and has a different motivation for not wanting to have sex in those positions.  Is he forcing her to have sex in positions that she has said are painful? If so, that is rape.  Marital rape was permitted in the US until Michigan and Delaware became the first states to outlaw marital rape in 1974.  By 1993, every state in the US has outlawed marital rape.  PP's wife is a real person who gets to say no to any sexual activity for any reason.  This ability to say "No", is also what gives women the ability to say "yes" enthusiastically, so no wonder the PP is missing out on enthusiastic sex with his wife.

Of course, if I have misunderstood the bolded PP, and he has explicitly discussed an open marriage with his wife, given her the same ability to have sex with other people that he has taken, and done so without using coercive control (including but not limited to threats of economic coercion, or custodial coercion), i.e. she has freely chosen with informed consent to stay in the marriage while PP cheats, then OFC what is happening is not cheating.  It is part of a fairly and freely bargained for non-monogamous marriage.  [/quote]

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