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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I want to hate and disagree w you soooooo bad.

Ugh!

I'm the pp.  Sorry you feel that way.  I hope you'll learn to reflect some day.  I wish you the best.[/quote]

Serious question. Why not divorce? [/quote]

I appreciate the serious question without snide comment. 
She's a 9 out of 10 for being a wonderful person.  Very refined.  Mother of my children.  Still incredibly beautiful and sexy after all these years. We also are still very much in Love.  We still have sex, but she's beyond vanilla and is selfish in bed.  I cheat ONLY for the sex.  I didn't take cheating lightly; it was after 20 years of not having my needs met. [/quote]

[b]“No matter the gender, if you don't Love your spouse enough to do ANYTHING and with enthusiasm on your face for the one you supposedly love, then you're just a DUD”[/b]

Hi ! I’m the PP who wanted to disagree. 
Don’t need prospective as  I’ve often heard similar.  
But dayum why not just tell your wife ?

[/quote]

Because his beautiful sexy refined wife will dump his sorry butt[/quote]

Yes, exactly - he "cheats" because he thinks if she knew she would end the marriage.  Like most cheaters, the bolded PP lives in a delusion world built to maintain his self-esteem through an image cultivated before and with the cooperation of others.  The APs allow him to believe he is this sexy stud.  The marriage allows him to portray to the world that he is a "good guy" because he has a "sexy, beautiful" wife who is "refined" and is the mother of his children.  These are signifiers that many men use to signal to others that they have high masculine value.

TBH, this kind of deceitful manipulation is a form of emotional abuse.

I've been through it -- discovering that my exDH had cheated with many other women, despite the fact that we had sex a lot and I never said no to him about anything sexual.  But, having sex with me wasn't enough to maintain the narcissistic self-image he wanted. With other women, he could portray himself however he pleased without any questions.

I will say that my exDH was completely shocked when I told him I knew about his infidelities and that are marriage was over and that he needed to move out.  He tried to reconcile for about 2 years (so the sex must not have been that bad), all the while telling me more narcissistic lies to maintain his self-image and try to manipulate me into reconciliation.  Obviously, I would and did never reconcile.  When our kids were old enough, I grey rocked him -- he gets no attention from me other than polite emails documenting some aspect of child custody, and a polite "hello" when he picks the kids up for visitation.  Thankfully, grey rocking stopped his attempts at coercive control, and he moved along to marry someone else (whom since divorced him).

Not all women who are cheated on are sexual duds in bed, as bolded PP would like everyone to believe, because it serves to justify his cheating. [/quote]

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