Reply to Did your spouse confess?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Did your spouse confess?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My stbx (filed recently) has this funny thing where he somehow believes lies of omission are OK, but direct lies make him feel guilty. (Adultery is OK as long as you don't lie too hard about it guys!) So for his first affair ten years ago, he confessed after about five minutes. However, he left out the whole physical affair part (and did deny it when asked), so there were a couple of weeks of trickle truthing.

This time around, he left suddenly a year ago with some vague words about being unhappy. And since it was clearly over, I didn't try too hard to figure out the "why" . . . I think I was relieved. But after six weeks an acquaintance reached out to say he'd heard we were separated and was there any chance my husband and his wife . . . And we put that together quickly (not least of all because my stbx had forgotten to stop sharing his location with me until I asked). We decided that I would do the confronting because his wife is a very committed liar.

It took me 30 seconds to get a confession. Basically I just said, "I know you are and how I know doesn't matter" and I just let it hang in the air. He knows better than to try to outwit me.

Hilariously, her husband waited three weeks to confront her at therapy, and in that time my husband didn't warn her that I knew. So he said, "I know you're sleeping with him," and she denied denied denied, and finally she said, "I don't know where you think you're getting your information from" and he said, "from what he told his wife." Ha ha ha. Mic drop.

Anyway, a year has passed and I am so happy to be off the merry go round. They're still together, though she's never admitted it. She goes to a church where they would rebuke her for the sin of adultery so I guess that's why. I'd rather a) not a be a hypocrite and b) not go to a church that would involve itself in my sex life. But that's just me.  :lol:

I will say that my stbx's relative lack of gaslighting has made coparenting easier. I We are able to sit together at events, share rides, chat casually, text about random stuff, etc. His girlfriend and her ex are not able to do those things. And I can understand why her blame shifting and lying to him to this very day make it impossible to be chummy. [/quote]

Churchy adulterers are the worst.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics