Reply to Feeling like social life has hit a ceiling....not sure where to go from here

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Feeling like social life has hit a ceiling....not sure where to go from here"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here with an update. I took some of the great advice provided here, and have been initiating smaller get togethers with some of the women that I enjoy spending time with in these groups, and it’s been going well; some responses, some rejections, but I remain optimistic. I’ve also been very intentional about limiting my social media use.

The other day, I was at my weekly pickleball match, when I overheard one of the women (who is part of one of the larger social circles that encompasses both neighborhood and synagogue people) mention that she hosted a New Year’s Eve party (which my family wasn’t invited to). Curiosity got the best of me, and I went on her social media page; turns out that a ton of people from this very large social circle were at said New Year’s Eve party, including people who I thought were on a much further out social circle than me! On one hand, I don’t particularly care for the woman who hosted the party, so it’s not like I thought she and I were best friends. On the other hand, it’s a big gut punch to see people who I thought were much further outside this social circle get invites over me. Adding insult to injury, the party hostess moved to the neighborhood basically the same time we did. [/quote]

Glad you have been initiating and having some success. Good that you limit social media use. Try to wean yourself off if you can.

I will say the benefit of having plenty of life stressors over the years (ill and then dying parent, one child with special needs and medical issues, husband's medical emergency, etc) is that I just don't care about this stuff. Health is wealth. I have good friends and never enjoyed the friend group thing. My parents had what you desire and there was so much gossip and competition too and some of them turned into frenemies. Plus, people would get upset that as kids got older, they would be polite but were not turning into best friends because kids chose their own friends. Also, plenty of people got together in their own groups too. That should be seen as normal.

I think you are doing the right things and need to continue to enjoy the process of meeting people and connecting. Continue to savor what you have and how far you have come and don't be so focused on rigid goals and visions. People may sense you want something that they just cannot give you. Every friendship you form is a gift even if it doesn't turn into a family friendship and even if they don't get into hosting parties or whatever.

I find people who post friend gatherings on social media past the age of 22 are not my type of people. I actually found out a "friend" had posted photos with me in them and my some with my kids and I created an account o verify. I then politely asked her to take them down. She did and stopped talking to me. I'm just glad she respected my wishes and privacy, and it she dumped me for that, she definitely is not my type of person. She also posted so many photos of she and her husband on dates and getaways without the kids. They are getting divorced, so I don't think the photos people post tell you much about the quality of relationships.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics