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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why did you / do you keep having kids with him? Put your kids in daycare, go back to work and hire a maid to fix your life. [/quote]

OP here. Unintentional blindness? Ignorance? Stupidity? I don't know, take your pick. I don't regret any of my children and never will, however.

People who have been in a pattern for a long time take a long time to realize and objectively examine their situation. I'm no different.[/quote]

Why did you marry this guy in the first place?[/quote]
This is a stupid question. Do you think he revealed upfront that he's going to be a manipulative misogynist who would use her fertility and their children against her? Why do people like you like to pretend you don't know full well that men perpetrate conscienceless fraud in all walks of life, especially romance? [/quote]

OP here. Thank you. Yes, I guess as a few have pointed out, I'm also the problem.[b] I didn't realize going into parenthood that dads, who helped to create the children, wouldn't want to be as involved with their kids as the mothers.[/b]

He wasn't always like this. And I mentioned earlier that things have really gotten bad after I became pregnant with our third. During the pregnancy, he made a few comments that really hurt me (like why do you have to lay down for a bit or nap? Insinuating that I shouldn't be tired) - keep in mind I only did this 3-4 times the entire pregnancy.

I also believe he is a misogynist based on info I found earlier this year. So.. to some (all?) I'm a bumbling idiot for staying together - I have to face reality even though it sucks and regardless of what I do, I worry for my children.

Feels like a shit sandwich either way.[/quote]
Of course, you didn't realize this.

How could you imagine that a person exists who would initiate a labor-intensive lifelong project fully intending to do as little as possible towards that project and to use every trick and ploy imaginable to exploit an unsuspecting person--YOU--for all of the labor that project requires?

And yet, this is what the average man does and exactly what your husband did. Time to talk plainly about this. Men connive and use the fact that WE gestate and give birth to sneak exploitative dynamics on us. There's a lot I can say about how this pretends that the physical realities of male and female don't matter anymore has to do with why so many women are still being suckered by these fools. Men know that the physical differences matter and they use them against us.

Anyway let's stop pretending these men who can hold down high-level jobs with intricate responsibilities somehow become lobotomized when they cross the threshold of their homes. They know what they're doing.

I hope nobody wastes my time by arguing that holding down a job is a man's contribution. Would these men not work if they weren't married? These men work because they want to eat and enjoy good social standing and luxuries. The fact that their families benefit is incidental. We all see how many men try their best to prevent their families from enjoy any financial benefit from them the moment they divorce and can run off.[/quote]

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