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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Child psychiatrist here.  The first 6 sound like ADHD.  The last 5 don’t. 
 
I have four kids close in age, and some of this just sounds like life with multiple small children.  It’s a skill and takes a lot of work.  That’s not recognized by society in general, but it’s true.  You really can’t expect your spouse who has very little practice to just jump in.  
I also think that men have very little knowledge on what life with little kids is “supposed” to look like.  Women read parenting books and join playgroups, but men don’t have any of the same experiences, so they think that life is supposed to look like it does on television.

Other posters might be right that you are headed towards divorce, but if he wants to work on things, you might just have these 5-10 difficult years and then have another 40 great ones.  
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OP here.

I have thought about your last paragraph. Thinking about how things were before kids and I don't remember having tension. But who knows.. I'm not sure if he would "go back to being normal" once our kids are grown and on their own or continue to stay as he currently is.

It's funny that my biggest gripe of all is just wanting him to spend time with us. He is never mentally present. And most times he runs off so he can't be mentally present if he's not even physically present.[/quote]
Stop lying to yourself.

You're not going to have 40 great years with this person after he's done running you into the ground without mercy for two decades.

It's a lot more likely that he leaves you once he's done using you for the thankless task of raising his children.

The number of men who leave their SAHM wives after their children have grown and child support is either not a concern or less of a concern is epidemic.

Don't ever forget that.

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