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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After 18 years I would be done listening to the whining.  A grown ass adult at 26 years old should be able to make up his own mind.

Text him.  "We have these plans on these dates.  Let us know by this day, which events you can attend."

Leave the rest to him.  Make a basic plan and if he shows up, he shows up.[/quote]

I really doubt that he can't make up his own mind. He's probably just doesn't really care who he sees on what day, and he's doing this for one of two reasons (or both).

1) Taking OP at her word that her DH's ex is difficult, the son doesn't want to discuss this with his mother because his mother is difficult. He would rather make his father do this, because it is a pain.

2) If the son makes the plans, one or more of the adults will likely complain about it and he will have to re-plan. So it seems simpler, in the eyes of the son, to put the adults in conversation with each other, rather than the son being the go-between.

I am an ACOD who makes my own plans and honestly it sucks. Call mom and request her schedule, which depends on her partner's. Then call dad and request his, which of course depends on his wife. Then plot something that works for all four grandparents and also for me, my husband, and my kids' schedules (school, work, sports), then call each household to relay the information. This is a pain! I do it because I like to have control of my family's schedule, but it's a time-suck and I wish I didn't have to do it. I really envy people whose parents are happily married.[/quote]

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