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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH has long figured out the key to sex is to not make it an expectation.  His “game” is to run me a hot bath.  He will usually put in epson salts and top it off with bubbles.  He makes sure my AirPods are charged.  He then brings me a bottle of water and a glass of wine.  He turns out the lights in the bathroom and walks away.

When I’m done he has changed the sheets on the bed.  I climb into crisp cool sheets.  He puts on one of my favorite shows and invites me to snuggle up to him.  Sometimes I just crash but usually cuddling leads to kissing which leads to his end game.[/quote]

You sound exhausting. No man should have to put in that work just to have sex. I'd go get it elsewhere for a hell of a lot less effort.[/quote]

I’m not that poster, but how are you “getting it elsewhere” for less effort than this?  It’s literally changing your own sheets, running a bath, and getting a glass of wine from the refrigerator in your own home.

What’s your normal move if bathing, changing your sheets, and getting your partner a drink is too much effort?  
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I think what people don't get is the idea that you need to be cajoled into having sex with your husband.
It makes it seem like you view sex as a reward for your husband and something you tolerate if he's been a * good boy" vs something you enjoy it's a good time for both of you.

And I guess I can't relate to that mentality. But I also can't relate to relegating sex to obligatory days I will tolerate it. So this thread probably is for me or others who actually like sex with their spouse.[/quote]

It made me think that she is more interested in sex when she is relaxed, and her husband knows how to get her to that state.  
Every woman knows how to get a man  thinking about sex.  Or are you going to tell me that if I put on lingerie or whisper dirty things, then I am cajoling my husband into having sex with me because I’m a “good girl?”  Or that he doesn’t actually like having sex with me?  
It’s nice to know that there is at least one man out there who knows how to get his wife interested in sex.  
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I think the difference is that when you're putting on lingerie and whispering dirty things; you're doing sexy things to make him sexually interested.

Charging airpods and all the other stuff she mentioned is like two steps removed from sex; making it seem transactional. If you're giving good sex to get good sex, that's awesome. If you're giving someone a better rate on their loan to get sex, that's gross. In between those extremes, there's a spectrum. [/quote]

It sounds like you are saying that the things women do to put men in the mood for sex are sexy, but the things that men do to put women in the mood for sex are transactional.

I mean, in what world is taking a bath kind of like taking out a bank loan?

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