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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I agree it's some weird mental hangup. We rationally understand we can afford a lot more without jeopardizing security/the future.

But when I go to a fancy restaurant, I mentally still look at all the entree prices and make value judgements. We love to travel but I'm struggling to make the leap to nicer hotels and business class. I don't even like buying the teenagers $140 sneakers. I do it, because it's the kids and it's important to them, but I am outraged by it and would NEVER by myself $140 sneakers.

What is wrong with me? And yes I grew up working class. DH grew up more middle class and later upper middle class by HS, but his parents are also frugal.

I really do want to make the shift. But I am full of guilt over things I don't "need" that are "wasteful."[/quote]

Interesting. We make a lot more than you and I’ve never spent $140 on sneakers for my now college-aged kids AND I don’t think I’m frugal at all. Maybe I think more of value than frugality. Then again, what’s wasteful to you is not the same to me. [/quote]

it is all about what you value.  My kids knew to not ask for $140 sneakers.  My girls knew they were not getting Lulu or real Uggs until they stopped growing (despite half the kids in 1st/2nd grade being outfitted as such).  Sure we can afford it, but why would you spend on that (unless you have 2-3 more kids in line to wear it as hand-me-downs)?  Once they stopped growing, we were more willing to spend on quality if the kids wanted it---but my kid was happy with Fake Uggs from Costco for many years.

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Maybe your kids are young? You’d be hard pressed to find a kid at our public MS or HS without $100+ sneakers and some Lululemon or Ugg clothing/shoes. For the boys it’s professional sports swag. [/quote]

My kids are in their 20s.  We lived in UMC+ areas when they were in school.  But my girls were late MS before they got Lulu or Ugg---as stated, once they stopped growing.  MS is very different than ES (where half the girls in 1st grade were dressed like that, for items they'd outgrow in 5-6 months).  My son also got nicer stuff once stopped growing, but knew he was not getting more than 1-2 pairs of shoes (he only wanted one at a time).  And my girls wore fake Uggs and target leggings happily into HS, along with their Lulu stuff.  They were not status seekers. And yes they were popular.  
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That’s nice. It’s just not like that where we live.[/quote]

not like what?  I stated we had kids in Lulu and Uggs in ES.  It's your choice as a parent whether to spend on that.  But IMO, unless you have retirement and college FULLY funded, it seems silly to spend on things like that when your kid will outgrow it in 3-6 months.  
A lot of your kid's attitudes come from you the parent.  Despite the surrounding environment. 
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