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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Presumably you told the mom group that weekend didn’t work for you, and they chose that weekend anyway.  I’m not saying they chose it BECAUSE it didn’t work for you but it does say something about your place in the group.  It would seem really desperate to ditch your previous plans so you could join the girls trip.  [/quote]

This. I’ve had my own bad experiences with mom friend groups, but the fact that they chose the weekend that doesn’t work for you says a lot.

Several years ago, I had a group of mom friends in my neighborhood in the late 30s age range. A new mom moved to the neighborhood and joined the group since she knew another woman previously. She quickly became a queen bee type, which changed the dynamics of the group. I had planned a birthday party and sleepover for most of the kids on a summer Saturday evening to celebrate DD’s birthday, including the newer mom. This woman calls me about a week and a half before to say that she wants to throw a welcome to the neighborhood party at her house for a new family that moved in and the night that works best for “everyone else” was the night of DD’s birthday party and I didn’t mind not attending, did I? She worded it in such a way that if I objected, I’d be labeled difficult or angry. I was gracious, but it made me realize my place in the group and not to prioritize them anymore.

Of course following the party, all I heard about was how fun it was and that they wished I could have made it. I was watching all their kids!!

Three years later, the original mom group has fallen apart and that woman is now the straight up neighborhood queen bee. Since most of us that were friends at the time are now busier with activities and sports as our kids have gotten older, the queen bee is now friends with moms of kids in preschool and lower elementary. Which is somewhat bizarre when she makes her kids go to play dates and family hang out of kids much younger than hers. All to say OP, mom groups are overrated. Don’t ditch your college friend.

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