Reply to At what point do you give up?

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "At what point do you give up?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't give up on your child, but many families with disabled children reach a point where they realize that they need to shift from a mindset of "keeping up" or "catching up" to one of "keeping going",

That might mean looking for an educational placement where he can feel more successful, and regulate himself more effectively, even if that comes at a cost of slower academic progress.

It might mean changing how you use your resources, whether it's time or money, and prioritizing things that give you all energy for a long journey, whether that's spending the money from OT on a babysitter so you can get a break, or taking ABA off the schedule to let him do more things that make him happy.

It's a hard transition, for many families, but I've seen families come through it.

If you tell us more about specific things that are hard, we can probably make more specific suggestions.[/quote]

Op here. Our goal has been for him to gain the executive functioning and communication skills necessary to live on his own. While he's minimally verbal (short phrases), but no where near on track. Most troubling is that none of the interventions have really helped that much. The medications make his behaviors a lttle easier to control, but his actual skills aren't that far off from when he was 3.[/quote]

I'm the PP you responded to.  I'm a special educator in high school.  I work with students who are working towards alternate learning outcomes, which is a fancy way of saying they'll get a certificate.  I say all this, not because it makes me an expert, but because it provides context for my response.

I think those are well thought out goals, but I also think it's very hard to look at an 8 year old and predict where they will be down the road.  If I look at students who come to me as 14 year olds, and try to predict how much independence they'll have at 22, it's still hard and a 14 year old is a lot closer to an adult, than an 8 year old.  I'll also say that I know kids and families who haven't achieved those particular goals, but whose life is good and meaningful, and who have benefited from a focus on self regulation, executive functioning, and communication.

As far as advice, I'd start by saying that the best way for kids to learn to be regulated, and productive, is by being regulated and productive.  That sounds ridiculous when I write it, but what I mean is that finding a school environment where he can feel safe, and not overstimulated, which can lead to calm and work completion, should be a priority.  That might mean adding supports to his current environment, like a 1:1 aid, or it might mean a self contained classroom.  I am a strong believer in inclusive settings for kids, but if a kid is consistently disregulated, and not completing work at school, those are red flags for me, and tell me that a change is in order.  So, I would ask the IEP team about other options.  
[/quote]

This is super insightful. A bit of a koan but makes a lot of sense. I think what it says on a practical level is that we need to observe our kids and see when they are regulated and productive, and figure out what setting that is. But the system is set up to focus on fixing dysregulation instead of enhancing regulation. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics