Reply to Filled with hatred for STBX and trying to hide it from the kids

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Filled with hatred for STBX and trying to hide it from the kids"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I don't think you have to pretend everything is fine, OP, though what you tell the kids depends on their ages. I think it is fine, even with young kids, to say, "Right now I'm feeling angry at your dad," or "I feel sad and disappointed."

Adults can have emotions! But model how to handle them. There is no age at which your kids need to hear you say "Your dad is a lying POS." Keep the details private (not secret, private!). If the kids ask questions, give age appropriate answers. Also, give the kids LOTS of reassurance. Kids can feel scared that their lives will fall apart, that both parents will abandon them, that the divorce is their fault. No matter how sh*tty your ex is, keep telling them you love them, things will be okay, you will get through any tough times, and their dad loves them.

If they say, "If Dad loves us them why is he [leaving/not paying for something/not spending time with them, whatever]?" it is fine to say, "Your dad loves you but he's a human being who is struggling and does not always get things right. I know you are sad/mad about X and so am I."

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics