Reply to Anyone's college bound kid refusing to engage in packing?

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[quote=Anonymous]If there's a mental or emotional block, I absolutely help my kids get past it.  Fully competent adults need that help too!

If the kid is too busy socially, I might let them prioritize that at this point in their lives - the transition away from everything they've known to something completely unknown is BIG - but I might have them dedicate some time on their schedule to making decisions.  Buying things after getting to campus is fraught because usually the area stores are stripped bare - not a great idea to count on stuff being available.  And if we pack the night before, we pack the night before - as long as whoever is driving can get a good nights sleep.  If they can't make decisions, then they get what they get from me making them - and that's understood between us.

My DD was a freshman last year, and she had a lot of anxious energy she poured into packing - and so we didn't have the problem of procrastination.  We had the problem of obsessing over every little decision being the "right" one. . .so it was a lot of talking through tiny decisions (like what color towel to bring, and how many towels to bring).  It was exhausting.  It was the summer of packing.  Then at the last minute she practically froze and couldn't face boxing it all up and loading the car.  This summer - not so much!  She understands the color and quantity of the towels won't really matter, she knows what she actually needs, she wants to make the things she already has work over buying anything new, she's excited to go back. . .it's a growth process, and every kid moves through it differently.

Something I've observed over the years is that the parents that crow about how independent their kids are - "make their own lunch in middle school",  "know better than to ask for help / a ride / something to be brought to school" (etc) - have no idea how dependent their kid is on their friends with parents who are willing to help.  Their kid gets rides from me (because I'm willing to drive my kid), their kid eats part of my kid's lunch (because I make sure my kid has a lunch).  Part of that is because my kid is willing to help their friend!!  It's not often returned either - for them helping was not learned at home.  There is a difference between helping and coddling.
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