Reply to pay for adult kids to attend destination wedding?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is different but maybe still applicable. My BIL is terminally ill. He and my sister and their kids live 1500 miles away. Our kids are close but All my kids are adults and theirs are in college. 
When he dies DH and I will attend the funeral. I will get a big Airbnb and any kid of mine can stay provided they purchase their own plane ticket. I’ll rent as many cars as needed. [/quote]

That is fine as long as you don’t start hovering those who can’t attend. This is the key. Adults get to decide what they attend and where. It is none of your business if they choose not to attend. [/quote]

Where in this thread has anyone stated "if I pay I get to decide where my adult kids come and go"?   Nobody is doing that.

I think you don't have a healthy relationship with your kids (or your own parents).  Our kids love to come visit/go on vacations with us.  Who wouldnt' want a luxury trip to Europe for 10-15 days (all paid for)?  If they want to come they can, if not, we will see them another time. 
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