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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every time my DH and I bicker even the slightest, he resorts to name calling and giving me the middle finger. We will have disagreements about who is dropping the baby at daycare that day, and he’ll end up calling me a psycho and giving me the middle finger.

He is constantly using insults that are specific to women and their mental health: psycho, rage case, hysterical, b*, etc. I have asked him time and time again to stop, especially with the very pointed mental health insults. I struggled with postpartum depression for months after our baby was born, and it is very fresh.

At this point, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being called psycho for expressing any emotional response. I try my hardest to let his insults roll off my back, but maybe that’s why it keeps happening? Maybe I should show him what psycho looks like instead of just crying at the kitchen sink.

WWYD?[/quote]

Well, I'd leave because I grew up in a home where no one ever did this. I'm maybe a little hyper sensitive to it, but it might just be the high self esteem of being a girl with a father who treats her mother right for 40+ years. I'm not being braggy, it was eye opening to me in my 20s that this is actually considered fairly normal and acceptable by a LARGE number of people. Its depressing. I had one longer term boyfriend who touched on this but yeah, I wouldn't cry at the kitchen sink. [b]I'd book a hotel within 10 min and disappear. Not with kids but like 200 lbs of dogs and accouterments. Just, packed and gone. No return date. [/b]

I will say though that if this is the precursor to domestic violence that may or may not be the way. I knew it was all bluster but dont know your dynamic. [/quote]

Before someone calls me out on this because I know they will, yes this is a privilege thing. I always made my own good money and that can solve a lot of "cool down" situations though it doesn’t change my opinion that yelling and curing at your supposed beloved is acceptable.[/quote]

NP and as someone who grew up in a household with domestic violence, I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal. It was just my life. I saw it at my cousin’s house too so I assumed it was the same in every family. My mom told me we couldn’t tell anyone so my assumption was that this was a conversation every parent had with their kid and that we were all just being on our best behavior around friends and acquaintance.

So now that I am in a situation that I’ve slowly realized is emotional and verbal abuse, I can understand why I didn’t recognize it for a long time. And maybe why I was vulnerable to allowing someone to treat me badly early in our relationship. I don’t blame a single woman for being in this situation because many of us were raised in it. I’m glad that there are people out there that can’t imagine not leaving immediately because that gives me hope- it means there are whole swaths of society that think men treating women like this is utterly unacceptable. I hope that you are in my community and at my kids’ school and our pool and their sports, because I know that when we leave it is going to be rough.[/quote]

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