Reply to Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got a text from my mom out of the blue with the information to pay the remaining balance off of a loan she took out for my undergraduate education. Due to a divorce and bad financial decisions, she says that she can no longer pay it and now expects me to pay it since I’m starting a new job. I’m happy to help contribute but she expects me to pay starting next month and since she hasn’t made payments in a year - she’s not sure the full balance and says vaguely that she paid 1000k monthly at one point. I’m super upset that she sprung this up on me and she claims it’s always been the plan. Does anyone else think this is unreasonable? We have a decent HHI but two kids in daycare and my husband’s student loans. [/quote]

That's your loan. Period. [/quote]

Wrong. If op didn’t sign for it, it’s not their loan.[/quote]

Contractually isn’t but don’t be silly, was got DD to go to college. It’s DD’s.[/quote]

DP Here. Certainly not. Not legally, not morally. I am paying cash for my kids' 90K a year colleges. I am not asking for reimbursement at any point. If ever I lose all my money when I'm old, then I trust my kids will not leave me out on the street, that's all. Same reasoning if there'd been a loan for their college. If I wanted my kids to reimburse me for a large sum of money, I would make them sign a contract, to put them in front of their responsibilities and create a written record no one can then conveniently "forget". My husband has done this with his relatives. This is how you help out financially without straining relationships. It saves everyone in the long run.

That being said, it sounds like OP's parent is not a good money manager, and that OP will have bigger problems on her hands than just trying to figure out this loan. Her parent might become entirely dependent on her at some point. Maybe it's better to look at the entire financial picture of the parent and determine what options are available. Bankruptcy does not cancel Parent Plus loans, BUT as a senior citizen, if she has a disability, there is an option. She can also ask for deferments or income-adjusted payment plans. There are several options to consider!

The WORST solution is to just blindly send her money. Please don't do that, OP. Double check everything and figure out your parent's options, in her bigger financial picture, before taking on this loan. Maybe she won't want to tell you how she's doing financially, and in that case, you tell her you can't help her. You need to use this leverage you have to help her help herself, before the rest of her finances come tumbling down as well and you're left to pick up an even bigger mess.

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