Reply to Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will help pay but I do find it interesting that everyone feels like loans they take when their kids are 18 are ultimately their kid’s loans. I guess for me I’d never take on loans for my kids and expect them to pay them back. I wasn’t told when I was 18 that this would be the deal. I agree if that I knew this from the start but it feels a bit unfair to just expect this out of the blue. [/quote]

I entirely agree with you. If it's not spelled out when the loan is signed, changing the plans afterward requires a lot more diplomatic communication than what your mother just did. But as someone else said, she's probably feeling overwhelmed and humiliated, and ultimately, even if the messaging is crap, the reality is that she can't pay.

What happens if no one pays this loan? What was your mother planning for her next decades? Does bankruptcy even matter to her financial plan? Was she going to go to a Medicaid home anyway?

I would tell her off for not warning you in advance, because right now you're in the midst of a lot of expenses. 
And then I would see if the loan can be restructured in any way.

For future planning, this means your mother is also going to be dependent on you for all her end of life expenses. This is why it might not make sense to pay back any of this. She could just spend down her assets, declare bankruptcy and subside on your help, then go into a Medicaid home.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics