Reply to Sibling adopted drug exposed toddler and their savior complex has because their whole persona

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Sibling adopted drug exposed toddler and their savior complex has because their whole persona "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Adopted kids are all about the adopters, not the actual adoptees. The kids serve the parents' purpose. This has been going fof decades and decades. Nothing new. This child is one big virtue signal and, in this case, if he ever doesn't  need anything overtly,  he will  be failing them. 
Signed, 
Baby Scoop Era Adoptee[/quote]

This is not exclusive to adoptive parents. Some parents also make their biological children all about themselves. It is especially common with people who have narcissistic personality traits.[/quote]
Sure! But not all parents are narcissists, including adoptive parents.  But, in the world of adoption, society has supported the adoptive parents  as saviors, and the child needing saving. The child serves the parents as a commodity, relinquishing identity  and birth  story to  the parent's narrative, whatever that may be. The entire paradigm is flipped has been flipped backwards. Adoption should  be child centered. [/quote]
Oh just stop. What is wrong with you? [/quote]

Nothing is wrong with me or anyone else here responding. It's called "coming out of the  fog." It's harder for non adoptees to understand, but there's tons of literature  on it.

Living in Adoption’s Emotional Aftermath
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/04/10/living-in-adoptions-emotional-aftermath
[/quote]

NP, But thank you PP for posting this. Two of my step brothers were adopted and I’m in the recovery community, and so, so many people there are adoptees. They often were leaving one family of trauma into another one, except that one believed that the adoptee was going to fill that trauma. Many say they had happy childhoods, but felt that the relationship with their adoptive parents was fraught the day they arrived, even if that was at birth. (This is not everyone, but there seems to a common thread).

The parents in OPs situation need some counselling / therapy, but so does their child. They didn’t save him any more than he saved them from their own fears of infertility, and incomplete family, etc. it’s not on him to carry, and they need to see their actual role in his life.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics