Reply to Should I divorce my high functioning alcoholic husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, I am the physician who posted the long post.

I didn't say a choice wasn't involved and I explicitly said consequences are a reality, including dying, losing loved ones who refuse to watch you devolve, etc. I also said, OP can't control what he does.

What I did try to do is explain why his behavior which seems rational is utterly delusional. And to offer information that can be helpful because as a family member, it's hard to see what you can do in this situation.

I also think a good view of this is someone who refuses medical treatment for something that can be treated. If that is the case, what would you do? How would you cope? How would you manage? But again, that is such a personal journey and therapy and Al-Anon can be incredibly helpful.

But I feel terrible for you, PP. But I also feel awful for your ex because it is a shame to see a life go. But again, we don't control the consequences. We just have to move accordingly.[/quote]

Op here, thank you so much for your time writing the long reply.  How can I make him realize he has a treatable disease?  He doesn't think he has any problem because he does well at work, spends quality time with kids, volunteer a lot on kids sports, does fair share of household work, etc.  I can see his point of view, I even doubt myself "am I the problem?", "am I wrong?  maybe he is not actually alcoholic?", I have those doubts all the time.  This society normalizes drinking.  Parents at my kids sports team all drink way too much way too inappropriately (drinking at the games even it's in the morning?!).  My husband thinks he "isn't so bad" compared to others, and if those others are all married and live happily, why do I constantly "picking on him".

However, my husband does think his father is an alcoholic, even though his father was high-functioning too for a long time.  He thinks his father is wrong for being like that.  But he is doing exactly what his father did.  [/quote]

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