Reply to I don’t know how to talk to my husband about foreplay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In our relationship it’s opposite. I’m DW and generally ready to go, dont want much foreplay. DH needs touch just generally. I have to make a point cuddle, kiss, hug ect because I do care about his needs. You should try to be physical with him more (in a non sexual way) and talk about it more[/quote]
This is also me. I am more "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" meanwhile my partner loves a lot of constant contact, cuddling together and touching almost constantly. However, I would be extremely turned off if a man just expected me to instantly spread my legs at the drop of a hat with ZERO effort put into setting the mood. I dont need elaborate foreplay whatsoever, but it sounds like OP's DH does absolutely nothing and still expects sex on demand... that's a turn off based on the entitlement alone.[/quote]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting some wham Bam thank you ma’am, but it sounds like these husbands every single time pound their wives for their own pleasure with no regard to pain or pleasure. Wanting sex quick and fast doesn’t mean you don’t allow for pleasure for your partner. We used to make fun of men like this in college calling them jackhammers, and warn our friends at all costs! [/quote]

ITA. I am very quick to get turned on and can get myself off by riding my partner for a couple of minutes- I'm about as quick as a woman can be. But I think how these guys approach sex is very different and degrading. Like even if I get off quickly, I am still wanting very much for my partner to get off as well, and wouldnt be able to enjoy sex if he didnt (obviously once in a while is fine if someone cant, but every time is crazy). Additionally I would *never* want to have sex with my man that was physically painful for him. I really think that sure, while some of us dont require a ton of foreplay or prolonged time in bed, prioritizing your partner's feelings is the main issue here. My partner loves cuddling and loves the emotional side of sex so we have sex for a lot longer than I need because he prefers it that way. And he prioritizes the positions that feel good for me and avoids certain positions that hurt. That's the basics of good sex and anyone who is not extending that courtesy to their partner, regardless of their own speed preferences and sexual style, doesn't deserve to get laid tbh. [/quote]

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