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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I used to (and maybe will again), but after watching my 75 year old mother putter around her very clean and beautiful condo for the past 20 months following my dad’s death, I now think it will be really lonely.

My mom has no plans most days. Her fridge is almost all condiments and random soups. She doesn’t cook or entertain and has no hobbies except spying on the other people in her condo development. 😬 She has some friends but they all still have spouses or kids nearby, so she only sees them for a few hours every week total. I asked her how she spends her days. She said she wakes up at 6AM and the reads in her sunroom for several hours. At 4:30PM she moves to the living room and watches British TV until she gets tired at around 9.  She’s a wealthy widow and will live in comfort but she’s clearly very lonely. I just visited her for 5 days and she never stopped talking—she was so happy to have company again. One of my siblings lives in her town and invites her to holiday gatherings and takes care of her if she needs help but they have their own family, busy jobs, etc.

I will say that I was jealous that her house was spotless despite not having been cleaned in 4 weeks (she was recovering from surgery and couldn’t clean)![/quote]

This has nothing to do with living alone and everything to do with being 75.

At that age, if I’m unpartnered, I will move to some kind of community and live like it’s college again. My 90 year old friend whose husband just died always has friends to go to lunch and dinner with. She goes to the theater, to movies, on outings… all organized by the community.

I am in my mid 40s and divorced, so alone in my home half the week. I’m only without plans if I choose to be (which is glorious, and sometimes I do because I need the downtime). Otherwise I am really busy with friends, hobbies, work, and other side projects or weekend getaways. I need to turn down invitations to hang out because I have so much going on. I haven’t even started dating in earnest again yet. I never did any of this stuff when I was married with kids and honestly my life feels a lot more full and balanced now.[/quote]

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