Reply to My parents both passed this past year and several old supposedly good friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are the people that send flowers and food? Seems like a dated thing to do upon finding out someone has died.[/quote]

I’m 50 and I honestly think all this stuff sounds really old fashioned. I support my friends via text and calls, but I don’t send cards, flowers or food. The food thing seems particularly specific to an era when women were homemakers and DoorDash wasn’t an option. It also seems specific to a time when hordes of people descended for funerals and visits. With the mobility of people these days, most don’t have 40 cousins hanging around over three to five days where you need a ton of casseroles.

That said, I’m sorry that OP feels unsupported. My mom dropped dead out of nowhere when I was 40 and she was 66. I have zero recollection a decade later about who did what, but I didn’t generally feel unsupported. But I also had a kid with brain cancer at the same time so grief for my mom was pretty low on my agenda.

I don’t think sending a card, flowers or food should be a litmus test for a friendship. But, I also think if you feel totally unsupported then you may need to rethink things.[/quote]

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