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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sarcasm is a bad look, especially past your 20's. No jokes. It's not funny. Too much messed-up communication and deniability based on, "I was only kidding." or "you're too sensitive." He either thinks and says what he wants to say or he keeps these thoughts to himself since they aren't worth bringing up.[/quote]

This. This right here. "I was just joking" etc. is not only an immature way to communicate, it lets the "joker" feel they're always, always right and have no need ever to examine their own communication or motives. It's highly toxic. If one person in a couple does not perceive the "joking" as actual joking, that is not being "too sensitive"--it's being a mature adult who prefers adult communication over childish passive-aggression. [/quote]

They were both being passive-aggressive.  Getting up and moving to another seat when your spouse comes in the room is also passive-aggressive.

I don’t think this was the best tactic for him to take, but what should he say?  Just ignore it?  [/quote]

Are you the PP who was so fixated on her moving her seat in earlier posts? Do you not get that this was just one example of a time he pulled out the mortgage threat and there have been other times too? Big picture, PP, try to see the big picture instead of hyper-focusing on her one example. The point is how wildly out of all proportion his response was. Her action is nowhere near meriting that level of response. [/quote]

Yes.  I’m that same poster.  Is it really that out of proportion?

I have been on the flip side of this where I told my spouse that I felt under appreciated, and my higher earning husband asked me what I do all day.  
I’m sure that at some point during that argument I said that I wasn’t going to take care of the kids the next day (knowing that he couldn’t).

I didn’t mean it, but having your spouse question your value in a relationship feels crappy.  [/quote]

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