Reply to How to navigate care for aging parent(s) when siblings live elsewhere?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you have to decide what your limit is. You can ask your siblings for more help, but it sounds like they are not in a position to provide it AND you can't control what they do.

The realistic options are that your parents move into a facility with the level of care they need now, or you move out and let the chips fall where they may (this will likely lead to an emergency situation for one or both of your parents, but they are being obstinate in their unwillingness to accept help).

There's really nothing else you control that you can do, short of continuing to run yourself into the ground.[/quote]

This. You can wish and want til the cows come home. They've been clear about they will and will not do. Now you have to decide what you will and will not do. Moving into your parents' house was your decision. If your parents don't want in home care, then it's your decision to keep picking up the slack. I know it's a hard choice. Most of us on this board are in the process of making hard choices. But you're letting their wants (no in home care) drive your actions.

If they don't want in home care, and they are physically and mentally unable to live alone, then they move into an AL facility. If they have to sell the house to afford AL, well, sadly that's how things go. They should be thankful they have a house to pay for it. Once you stop killing yourself to do two jobs (caregiver and day job), they may realize that they would prefer in house care instead of moving to AL. But you have to be the one to stop enabling and force them to make a choice.[/quote]

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