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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did anyone grow up with parents who provided zero life guidance and emotional support/growth during their childhood and formative years? How did you deal? How did you learn the tools to have an emotional life and personal growth? Did your siblings learn?[/quote]

Like others have said, I became very resilient and inward. This can be good and bad. The good is I’m extremely independent,  high executive functioning, don’t need or crave external validation,  excelled at pretty much everything I did. The bad is, I can get sucked into toxic relationships and on multiple occasions ended up with men who are “father figure” types. But they never ended well because I both craved a paternal figure and hated any kind of authority.

The other longer negative impact is, I’m reckoning and struggling with “defective parents” in my 30s and after I had my own kids. I didn’t really understand the damage the did until I was exposed to more normal and loving families in my twenties, and after I got married / had kids. I struggle with feeling purpose and meaning , and have had to very actively manage my anxiety otherwise it can eat me whole. My indifferent relationship with validation means I can be very unmotivated by all the things that usually motivate people.

One of the few things I can feel positive about and motivated by is to not repeat the pattern and be good to my kids.

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