Reply to Ten-year-old boys -- mind blown

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This rising 4th grade class is an absolute disaster. They missed fundamental social and behavioral development due to the pandemic and having spent their kindergarten year on computers and 1st grade in masks, at least around here. I’m making no statement about the decisions made at that time but this group of kids is absolutely stunted in their development and their behavior reflect that. [/quote]

My parents never went to pre-school or kindergarten and yet were raised with firm boundaries. Stop blaming this on lack of socialization. [/quote]

No, I agree with the PP you replied to. It’s different to not go to preschool or kindergarten but to be getting attention from parents, responsibilities, and to be amidst neighbors and a community every day. That in itself creates socialization and boundaries- socialization isn’t just “having playdates”.

My dad is quite elderly and started school in 1st grade because kindergarten was not yet compulsory. He was fine, but he was also raised on a block with neighbors who were around all day, clear expectations from adults, a parent who took care of him during the day (vs being in another room on a computer), outdoor time, and zero screens.

My rising 4th grader has a bunch of classmates whose parents either were working in another room 10 hours/day while they were left literally and figuratively to their own devices, or classmates whose parents were supposedly present but sitting in a backyard getting drunk by a firepit with their “pod” while the kids interacted with zero outsiders, strangers or authority figures. I hope it will improve over time but as I see them now, these kids are not going to get better- only more disregulated and feral.[/quote]

Both of my parents grew up on farms. One was an only child. No kids around. My mom had chores and didn’t see either parent for most of the day. She was busy feeding animals and hanging out laundry. But she knew where the boundaries were and was taught to respect her elders. My dad had one older brother who had moved out by the time he started school. Same chores and responsibilities. Parents were always busy doing farm work. Kids don’t need all of this socialization to learn how to behave. They need to be taught how to respect elders and their parents can do that even if they aren’t around them all day. Just having home responsibilities is a good start. [/quote]

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