Reply to Would you consider having a revenge affair/ fling if your spouse had an affair and you decided to stay together?

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Reply to "Would you consider having a revenge affair/ fling if your spouse had an affair and you decided to stay together?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You Americans are way too quick to pull the trigger to get divorced.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP here, opening it up is not an option…spouse won’t go for it.  Wants me 100% committed to making things work.  In addition, I have the need now to get away with something behind their back to even the score.

[b]And no, I don’t want to look at divorce until the kids are gone.  [/b]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP here, my issue is the kids are a big part of my life.  I want to spend time with them every single day until they are in college…I can get over the anger of the betrayal( temporarily at least) by engaging in a few long term flings myself.  And maybe with time I can forgive.

I would rather not get divorced now and share custody. So my solution is to have my fun on the side( secretly) and hold things together. The revenge fling is giving me enough of a dopamine high that I can fake that everything is fine for now and it pacifies my anger.

I didn’t ask to be in this predicament. But it’s the best I can do to hold things together.

[quote=Anonymous]I’m not going to lose my integrity to get my revenge. I will get it in a settlement. [/quote][/quote]

But why lie about it? If you are staying for the kids, just have an open marriage. Whatever.

Or is it the lying that makes you feel good?

[/quote][/quote]

Wow, what a relationship you guys are modeling for your kids.  Lying and sneaking around and resenting each other ad nauseam.  Good luck to them with these parents![/quote][/quote]

1.  Staying in a miserable marriage for decades is… not an accomplishment, sorry.

2.  Who said anything about divorce?  OP could have some serious conversations with her DH about what is going on in the marriage.

Cheaters always like to pretend like they don’t have agency or choices, and OP is no different.  Sorry OP.[/quote]

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