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[quote=Anonymous]I didn’t go to therapy for this specific issue but my parents were somewhat abusive and neglectful. My dad would yell and scream and both of them did hit me (both angry slaps in the face in the moment and being hit with a belt as punishment.  They were restrictive about what I could do while at the same time medically neglectful (scar from needing stitches I didn’t get, waited two days to take to dr for broken arm, did not get me all my shots such that I had to scramble to get them before college, didn’t notice I needed glasses forever). I was a straight A student and an athlete.  Even if I haven’t been - I do know i didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

My father died very young while I was in my early twenties. We kindof romanticized his death because it was so tragic and he was young.  My dad despite his faults did say he loved me and was proud of me often.

My mother on the other hand… she required a lot of me over the years with crazy irrational worry, I had to force her with the threat of commitment to get on depression meds. She also said awful stuff like how she could never see me being a mom and that my husband wasn’t “really” going to be there for me, was also cruel to my sibling in a different manner. In between those episodes she could be kind and she did live long enough to meet her grandchildren and doted on them.  I mostly made peace with my upbringing and I feel both my parents had challenges that made it hard for them - both grew up poor, mom had mental health issues, and I know my dad drank too much.  It’s like, they had limits and tried their best I think.  Just didn’t know better. My sibling deals with this by selectively not remembering stuff and rose colored view of the rest, which I am not sure is healthy.

My mom passed away fairly recently and while I miss talking to her, I do have relief both because I no longer have to worry about her and also I think because I can fully close that chapter and move forward being the best mother I can to my child in spite of my parents. [/quote]

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