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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Once I invited a bunch of moms out knowing two of my friends were also going and we had all agreed to go out. One mom wrote back. "I'm not interested". For years I thought this woman didn't like me, but it tuns out she's been friendly over the years to me and just don't like to socialize. Our kids are still friends. We are not close, but we get along. Just understand this person you are dealing with has a different way of doing things. Her actions are understandably rude to you but likely not meant to be rude.[/quote]

This is not the same thing though. The mom you are talking about was just direct. She wasn't interested in that outing and said "I am not interested." It could be considered rude, yes, but the alternative was for her to lie (I'm busy, oh I'd love to but I'm not feeling well, whatever). Instead she just told the truth and you were understandably a little put off. But then her behavior remained consisted and eventually you realized, oh, she just doesn't do gatherings like this. Okay.

OP's situation is different. This woman accepted OP's invitation (indicating she wanted to hang out with OP) and then went behind OP's back to add other people to it and surprised OP with that. The woman is not being direct or consistent. Did she ever want to be friends with OP? Sounds like on this outing, the other woman socialized more with the two women she'd invited without telling OP, than with OP who had made the plans originally. Why agree to OP's original invite at all then? And then after OP is like "ok I guess we aren't really friends, nbd," now this woman has become friends with OP's other group of friends and is around all the time? It's weird.

In your story, I get what the deal is with the other mom -- she's just not someone who socializes a lot but she's otherwise a good person and can be friendly and pleasant. Okay. In OP's story, I don't get this other woman. She seems to put herself in situations where she will be interacting with OP, even though she doesn't seem to want to be friends with OP. It makes no sense and I get why OP is confused and uncomfortable.[/quote]

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