Reply to If you did not do many chores growing up, do you wish your parents had made you?

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Reply to "If you did not do many chores growing up, do you wish your parents had made you?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wish I’d had more chores.  I was raised by a SAHM who handled everything.

I think having chores would have helped ground me and give me a break from schoolwork. It would have made me feel more a part of the family unit and like I was contributing. [/quote]

Same.

This is getting closer to the main benefit of chores, that many people are missing.

It's not just to lean how to do the chores, it's to have importance as a contributing member of a household. Kids need to feel like they matter, and being a helper, both at home and as a volunteer helping a community contribute to better mental health.[/quote]

I did lots of chores growing up and yet it didn’t make me feel like “I mattered.”

I don’t see why chores would make a kid feel this way? Affection, love, laughter, talking, adventure - those are things that matter. [/quote]

We know that self confidence comes from mastery - not from being told how amazing you are. Learning skills and increasing independence and responsibility does a world of good for self confidence. Contributing rather than being on the sidelines when it comes to activity for mental health and well-being. If you want to raise kids who have healthy mental health, they need to learn skills, and independence and responsibility and to learn coping skills and resilience. They don't get them from having everything done for them and having nothing but praise and a focus on positive feelings and externalizing responsibility. [/quote]

You’re extrapolating and making many incorrect assumptions. Chores don’t make kids confident, promise. You’ve been sold on something that isn’t true. [/quote]

Chores aren't the be all and end all but they are an important way to build responsibility and independence and mastery and to be a contributing member of a family. Sure adults can learn to cook and clean, they can also learn to read and drive and write. It doesn't mean it is ideal to leave learning until later in adulthood.

I used to work at a college and some kids came with few life skills and expected that there would be a 'someone' to meet all their needs and wants. While a few figured it out on the go when they were told they had to do it, many didn't and struggled with homesickness, depression, anxiety and some left school in the first semester. Not being able to make a bed or do your laundry or clean a dish or cook a basic meal or take a bus or manage any money or clean up after themselves or boil water isn't something that a young adult should be proud of. Being a contributing member of a family goes a long way to being able to be a contributing member of a dorm on campus. The kids who think others should do everything for them and that cleaning / cooking is beneath them don't make friends easily outside of others who have had maids / nannies / parents who have done everything for them.[/quote]

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