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[quote=Anonymous]OP, please find a job and look for childcare for your baby. Your husband does not see you as an equal, and part of it is that you are a SAHM. (I am not bashing SAHMs but in this tough dynamic, not only might it help her get some ground to stand on, but if things don't work out with her DH, then she has options.)

Look, part of this is general living together dynamics. OP if you've had a hard day and DH comes home and looks at the full sink and has the NERVE to say something, I'd look at him and go, 'We've had a tough day. Either you can do it if it's that important, or I'll do it later if you'll watch the baby.' For these types of things (the pots, for example), it's a negotiating thing...you'll have to bring it to the level of 'Let's hash this out as equals' rather than giving into your emotions. Which many times, means abandoning your current conversation, thinking about it, and coming back later. But you do need to negotiate and demand that he meets you halfway. And tell him, 'When you walk in, I want you to go to the baby and say hi. Do not go into the kitchen and get yourself worked up about the dishes.' Because for some reason, it's really easy to do (I have done that sort of thing to DH occasionally). You can even say, 'Oh, it's nice to see YOU TOO, honey! How was YOUR day?'

If he dares make a comment about what you eat or wear, I'd look him in the eye and say: 'You don't get an opinion on what I eat/what I wear. Sorry!'

And the subtle sighing over junk food...I'd be sarcastic if he persisted. 'Oh, one pint isn't enough? You want me to buy TWO? Because you know my goal in life is to be a fat wife.'

You need to create a backbone and don't LET him control you like he organizes his socks. But you will need to work with him because clearly you have differing opinions on 'stuff', cleanliness, etc. 
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