Reply to How to Convince my Husband to go for a third

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What I don't understand is why everyone cautions that you should just go with what he wants otherwise he will be resentful bla bla bla - what about you? How is this a compromise at all? What if you end up with a life of resentment on your side, from not having a third?[/quote]

It's a compromise because the ALREADY have TWO children.  I'm with most pps here.  If your DH feels strongly that he doesn't want more then you should respect that.  You ALREADY have two kids.  
[b]
My best friend is in the same situation but it's her husband that wants a third[/b], but he is willing to accept the fact that she wants to stick with two.  She wants to start her career, an art practice and maybe go to graduate school.  Having a a third would put all that off or prevent it from happening at all, and the thought of having another one really makes her anxious and depressed.  I think it's unfair that her husband is even pressuring her to have a third.

Think about it in those terms.  Maybe your husband feels like he's done his time with newborn - toddlerhood and wants to enjoy activities that having older kids will allow him.  It's unfair to pressure him into doing something he really really doesn't want to do just because YOU think he would love it if there were a third baby. [/quote]

Sorry, but there is no symmetry here. It's not the same whether the husband or the wife wants the extra child. If there is a draw, the woman's preferences should tip the scale. This is not only because mothers in most cases invest more, but also because woman's clock is ticking and man's clock, though ticking also but more slowly. So the man has many years to think through and reverse his decision and still have a biological child (with this some woman or another). The woman has not such option.[/quote]

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