Reply to Sad about no longer being attracted to DW

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Fix the frumpiness first. Tell her you want to show your appreciation for her being such an amazing wife. [b]Pay for her to have a session with a personal stylist and give her a few hundred in cash to spend on new, hotter clothes. Then set up a consult for her with a professional makeup artist and some more cash to buy high quality products. Finally, schedule a spa day where she can relax and get skin and body treatments. [/b]She sounds tired and run down, so forcing her to relax and up her grooming is a great first step to empower her to fix her health.

Treat that as gifting her an experience as well. Tell her you notice that both of you appear tired and run down lately, and could you set up a few sessions with a dietician to focus on changing both of our diets to boost our energy levels? A dietician will naturally correct excessive caloric intake in a nonjudgemental way. You just want to get her in the door without criticizing her and making her seem deficient. She probably feels overwhelmed and not desirable anymore herself. As her spouse, it's your job to support her and help her through this by increasing the amount of positive attention and pampering you give her. I guarantee you will see positive returns with this method.

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I would react so, So negatively to this approach.  It is so obviously an effort to “fix” someone.  I would react positively to my husband saying: you deserve a day off.  And then I decide if I want a spa day.  Or maybe not, maybe I just want to go out with friends.  Maybe my husband will need to give me an LOT of days off before I get to the part where I start thinking about my style.  Also, my husband does not give me money for clothes.  I buy what I want, it is 2024.[/quote]

This.  I am often frumpy these days (dealing with some depression) and I know darn well how I look.  My DH doesn’t say anything.  But when I do put in (even the tiniest bit of) effort, he is very complimentary and it seems genuine and sincere.  Which I find motivating to try again the next day.[/quote]

I’m frumpy (comfortable) most days but I freshen up my wardrobe every season. I get a new fitted coat, boots, some skirt and dresses. I recently got new sweats and was surprised people actually complimented my matching sweat outfit. I guess this is currently in? My oldest is in high school and many girls dress like me - sweats and ugg slippers.

I do work out 4-5 times per week and come from a thin family. Up until last year, I was about 5 pounds off from my pre pregnancy weight. I have gained another 5. I love to eat though and it is hard not to eat.[/quote]

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