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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP that said I'm in a similar situation -
Would you feel the same way about divorce if you knew the 50% of time the kids are with the other parent they may be getting belittled and verbally abused? Serious question. I don't want to take away their dad and fight for more custody but feel like I can somewhat shield them from abuse if I'm present. Or at least stop it while it's happening to them (even though that then turns into being accused of undermining). [/quote]

I might gently offer that you are seeing the situation from your adult perspective and not really understanding how your children experience it.  I would also offer that you seem conflicted about what is going on.  You do not want to take away your children's time from their Dad.  But in the same breath, you seem to imply that time with their Dad will come with more abuse if you are not present?    [b]  So if Dad's custody time is filled with abuse, why wouldn't you fight to limit it?  [/b]Although I have written earlier, as the kid who lived through this, I am not writing to suggest a particular outcome, but merely to note that you thinking on this issue may not yet be clear.[/quote]

I’m a different poster, but you’re both under the illusion that it’s possible to fight and limit the dad’s time. Realistically it’s not. This type of verbal communication is terrible but comes nowhere near the threshold for reducing custody. You could throw your entire retirement account at trying to reduce his custody and still be back at 50/50 or worse — you could end up with less and be accused of parental alienation.

I think people are too quick to scream DIVORCE! But realistically, staying and managing the other parent can be a lot better. She can always divorce when the kids are older and she’s had time to prepare. [/quote]

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