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[quote=Anonymous]- how hard is it to integrate natural born children with an adopted child (particularly when that child will likely be from a different racial background)?  not hard.

- is there an ideal age gap/separation?  the ideal is that the adopted children are younger than your children. the idea is that while you may shift their birth order (youngest becomes middle) you won't change their birth order (oldest of group becomes among youngest of group)

- understanding that older children and sibling groups have the hardest time finding adoptive families, I'd love any opinions on issues that might arise when adopting a child who is older than your natural born children? read the blog Finding Magnolia.  she lays it out MUCH better than I ever could. she explains about the trauma of being ripped away from a family, culture, language, country, etc. that you are familiar with and going to a different one.

- is it best to adopt a sibling group so that they can support each other in an adoption transition, or has anyone found it too much to handle along with your natural children? what we did was to adopt one child at a time, but ultimately adopt two children from the same country. that way there wasn't one lone black child in the family - they have someone who looks like them. with all the work we did on attachment and bonding I never would have been able to handle two adopted kids at the same time the way I wanted to.

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