Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have two biological children and I was interested in adopting a third- I find so much of the negativity on the Internet to be discouraging however- I feel like I keep seeing adopted kids espousing a victimization motiphe that is clearly irrational in part (no adult decides to parent as a joy ride or on a whim).
Because the people who are happy with adoption feel no need to post as it is just their life and normal. The adoption industry is horrible right now, but adoption itself is pure joy.
Anonymous wrote:We have two biological children and I was interested in adopting a third- I find so much of the negativity on the Internet to be discouraging however- I feel like I keep seeing adopted kids espousing a victimization motiphe that is clearly irrational in part (no adult decides to parent as a joy ride or on a whim).
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a developmental question...........my child is entering first grade. She has always know that she was adopted as a baby; we have told her story about the day she was born, etc. since birth. It is a "fact" to her, but recently she asked to see a picture of her birthmother, which was totally fine. We looked a pictures, told her mothers story, etc. and that was the end of the discussion. Until she began expressing thoughts that she is not loved as much as her siblings, etc. My question is, how much can a six year old understand cognitively at this age??? What can the handle emotionally??? Anyone been down this road??? Have any good books to suggest??
I just think that a first grader is too young to understant all that.
I am adopted since a newborn.But my parents told me about my story when I was about 9-10 years old.
Before that is too early I think.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We have both bio and adopted kids. We adopted an older child out of birth order, and it was sooo hard on the kids who were already here. Please don't do this. We thought our family would be the exception. This one adoption has had such a negative impact on our family.
The psychological, emotional, and mental health issues of this one child have nearly collapsed our family.
The damage to our biological child who is close in age to the child from this adoption has been severe and will be life-long.
I would question what adoption agency would allow you to do this. Older child adoption is hard on its own. Most reputable agencies will not allow you to disrupt birth order, because it is known to cause additional strain. The agency should not have allowed it, and should have counseled and educated you about the difficulties.
Anonymous wrote:We have both bio and adopted kids. We adopted an older child out of birth order, and it was sooo hard on the kids who were already here. Please don't do this. We thought our family would be the exception. This one adoption has had such a negative impact on our family.
The psychological, emotional, and mental health issues of this one child have nearly collapsed our family.
The damage to our biological child who is close in age to the child from this adoption has been severe and will be life-long.
Anonymous wrote:To the PP if you check back to read this thread....thank you for taking the time to respond in such a thoughtful way. My husband and I are also considering adoption after having one biological child because having another on our own is no longer a possibility (by no choice of our own). I shared many of the OP's concerns. Your last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. I may borrow some of your words as I discuss this next step with my husband. [sick}