Reply to NOT redshirting august DS

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[quote=Anonymous]We did not redshirt an August birthday and don't regret it. I think Kindergarten was a little more challenging emotionally for her than for some peers because she was 5 the whole year and at that age, 6 or 9 months can make a big difference.

But that's it. She has never struggled academically and has always been a very advanced reader and writer, and usually a little above grade level in math. Even in K. So I don't see any academic advantage to redshirting her, and I can actually see how it might have been negative. She was reading at a 3rd or 4th grade level in 1st. If she'd been redshirted, she likely would have been even further ahead. I just don't see what benefit that could have had.

Socially, she's always had somewhat younger interests or outlook than many peers. Like she can come off as naive. She played with dolls longer than most friends, avoided movies or books that were scary or had more adult themes longer (by her own choice).

The thing is, I wouldn't describe her as immature, though. I remember once she told me that some of her classmates teased her because she still played with dolls. This was middle elementary, like 3rd/4th grade. I said "how did that make you feel?" And she shrugged and said, "I don't care. I just like it." She wasn't upset by the teasing really, and had this attitude like she was going to do what she wanted and who cares if some other kids thought it was babyish. Which is actually a very mature outlook. She's always been pretty emotionally mature in that way -- good at articulating her feelings, processing conflict, etc. So while she comes off as younger than other kids (because she is, and because I think developmentally she's a late bloomer anyway), she has a mature emotional outlook so I don't think it matters that much.

We absolutely have discussed how a gap year might be good for her after high school, though we'll leave it up to her (I honestly trust her to make good choices for herself, she's so self-assured). But she's going to graduate near the top of her class. She has friends, self-confidence, a real self-awareness about herself. She's even pretty competitive in her sport (swimming), not a superstar but a strong competitor and well liked by coaches and teammates. She starts high school next year and when I asked her whether she thought it would be a big change for her, she said yes but that she feels ready for a new challenge.

It's impossible to know what life might have been like if she'd redshirted, but I really struggle to see how it would have improved her life thus far. And I can see a few ways in which it would have been a negative. When your kid is on the bubble age-wise, I think you just have to make the choices that feels like it makes the most sense, and then offer support and help for the challenges you meet along the way. [/quote]

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