Reply to How to navigate care for aging parent(s) when siblings live elsewhere?

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[quote=Anonymous][b][quote=Anonymous]Dear OP and everyone else,
Thank you for your experiences and opinions. My mother is about to go thru this and I'd been thinking about her setup and the siblings dynamics for a few years now. She's still spry but I'm getting ready to move near her once my youngest finishes high school next year. Spouse is not a issue as I ended my marriage over the prioritization of his family over mine (as in, my family didn't exist during my marriage).

We all have a different standard of care and no sibling will ever please another, nor the elderly parent. [b]I DO think, however, that the sibling who invested most in elder care should get a larger portion of the estate (assuming there is a decent one).[/b] If the parent's interest are satisfied by this caregiver-child, shouldn't that child be given reciprocated care upon passing? Yes, OP, this means you.

Now, before anyone crows that I'm moving near my mom for her estate - she doesn't have much of an estate. I'm doing this mostly because I don't want to end up in a therapist's couch for the next 20 years of my life feeling guilty. I am in a position to be present for her so I don't see why I shouldn't. 
There's a big part of me that empathizes with the OP, but there is another part of me that clearly sees the manipulation and selfishness of the parents driven by their fear, neediness and frailty. Nobody wins when it comes to elder care but we don't want to lose our humanity.[/quote]

I'm a pp that agreed that the caregiving adult child should be paid for their labor, and said that my brother currently gets paid for this.
It's so much better to get paid NOW a fair wage.   People get way more emotional about inheritances, and you're not guaranteed there will be anything in the end anyway.[/quote]

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