Reply to So far I love being divorced

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "So far I love being divorced"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who is at the crossroads of divorce but too chicken to do it, this post is so encouraging.  The unknown of divorce is so daunting but this post gives me hope that so many are finding happiness in the aftermath.  [/quote]

Having recently been unceremoniously dumped after a long marriage, this post helps me, too.  I didn’t want the divorce, but am hoping for some sort of phoenix from the ashes situation once I glue myself back together.  Kintsugi or something.  [/quote]

OP here. I think the phoenix part is if you're willing to do the work on yourself. Therapy taught me to recognize abuse, narcissism, my own negative and limited beliefs about myself, and then being in control of my own life gave me the confidence I needed.

FWIW if I were to categorize my marriage it would be that I was a people-pleasing empath who gave up too much of my own career and freedom and my XH was a manipulative narcissist who figured out how to control me. I got out and it was scary but that's why I'm so happy now.[/quote]

I am married to a covert narcissist.  Too scared to leave as he has threatened to fight me on custody and I am afraid of the effects he will have on the kids. I am also worried I won’t be able to deal with not seeing them everyday and that he will continue his ways even when we are not in same house.  How are your kids doing if ex is a narcissist? Does he have 50-50 custody?[/quote]

I did this with success. Prepare for very expensive litigation over a year or two minimum. Real talk.

Stop being afraid. Question yourself. Are you really an incompetent child like he’s tricked you into believing? Really? Or is HE? He’s the one who probably can’t function without you running the show. He’s a joke.

Fear is the only power he has so take it away. Your fear is under your control and I’m sorry, not much else is or will be until after the divorce.

After the divorce your sun will rise again. In neon rainbow colors. It will be worth it. [/quote]

+1.  I'm separated from a narcissist and it's not fun.  Attorney fees will be through the roof.  But it will be worth it in the long run to get away from the gaslighting, drunk and controlling behavior.  I realize how I'm constantly braced for incoming.  I can't live that way and I don't want my teen to either.  He's struggling now because he sees me taking back my power.  I initiated the divorce but we told ourselves we would be thoughtful, careful, etc. to not let this devolve into chaos and hard feelings.  I've been accommodating, patient, generous...all to have him take advantage of me by purposely delaying things, manipulating, lying, insisting he never agreed on things when he actually did, calling me names...all the things that tell me again how completely damaged this human is.  I've never once regretted my decision and I finally feel like myself now because i'm not being controlled or bullied.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics