Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous]What I hear coming through is a conflict between the idea that marriage is a union of two families, rather than just two people. Much of what OP has issues with seems to be the husband wanting to maintain close association with extended family abroad, not hurt their feelings, not show off (which might also be read as not be perceived as a moneybag and soft touch), afford longer stays than might be possible with hotels, etc.

Most couples run into something resembling this fundamental issue, usually early in their marriage. I’m firmly in the camp of marriage being two people joined together, with all other prior relationships taking a back seat.  I can’t say I started out there or that adjusting to it as my new reality was always easy, but in the end I think the marriage needs to come first.

PP’s have made good suggestions, but I think OP and her husband need to work this conflict out, perhaps with some help. She needs to value his family relationships and attachment to his country and culture of origin. He needs to put her first, take account of her needs and preferences and not simply treat her as another piece of baggage along for the trip. 
Some of the family members abroad might be supportive, but I wouldn’t count on it.

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